Dyslexia Blog
“Good morning please can I take your surname?”
“Church”
“Can you spell that please?”
“CHHHURCH”,
“sorry please may you spell that? “
“like I said Church, as in a CHURCH”.
Now, I am hot and can feel myself blushing, the room is starting to get blurry, and my senses are in overdrive. Apart from my inability to spell, lucky the person cannot see me sweating.
Now what are my options for this situation?
- Ask them to spell it again?
- Try and remember what they have said and ask Alexa to spell it later
- Apologize again and lie that the phoneline is not clear and can they spell their surname?
Option 3 is the one that I go with, as I need the information for my job to carry on with the call and if I get the spelling wrong this could affect my job and the person who is calling the phone line case going forward.
But what must this caller be thinking of me? “Who the hell am I talking to? This lady must be stupid! How can she not even spell my surname?” Well, that is what I am guessing is going through everybody’s mind when I ask them how to spell something. This is where my level of shame goes up every day. I feel so much shame that I cannot be like everybody else.
This has come from a very early age in childhood at the age of 7 I can remember being in class and looking around and seeing all my friends writing a story for the lesson. However, they were writing the story with pen and paper, and I could see that they had words on there page. I looked down at my page and it was blank I knew what story I wanted to tell but how do I get it on paper how do I do what my friends are doing. My friends had a superpower that I was still waiting to get. That was my first insight that I am not like anyone else in my class.
Every time I have to ask someone to spell something I go back to being the 7-year-old child who is not good enough and will never have the same superpower as others. However, its ok now as an adult I worked out that I now have a different superpower which helps me to engage with others easy and I have the ability to read a room/ person very fast. This is my superpower, this superpower is called dyslexia.
Not everyone is the same so next time someone asks you to spell your name or address please take a second to think about why they may be asking this question. Please just spell it without the sarcastic tone to your voice and think maybe this person has a disability that can affect the ability to spell. The world is changing, and people are more understanding and tolerant of people’s differences, but it is changing at a slow pace.
As I stated in my first paragraph having to ask the question to spell a word has on only a mental effect but also a physical effect, that people can see me getting red and sweaty. This happens all the time and I can be anywhere and need to ask for support. Not only does my dyslexia stops me from spelling it also effects my reading. The words move around the page and sometimes I will read the word backwards, which then makes no sense to anyone.
I have tried to laugh my disability off and cope with it but it’s hard and comes with a lot of shame and sadness. Not only do I not have the main superpower that most people have. I have past it down to my child who is now having the issues at school. As I have said the world is changing but slowly. In some of the schools today they are still doing spelling tests and reading everyone’s results out to the class. My son comes home upset because he has got the lowest mark in his test. He will say mum I am stupid why can I not be like my friends? My dear child you just have a different superpower to your friends, and I will help you find yours.
Our lives are precious and full of so much love and joy, so let’s be super mindful to everyone. I have explained how I feel from my viewpoint, but this does not mean that anyone else with dyslexia will feel the same. Like I have stated the world is getting more open about people with all different disabilities. However, when I was asked to write this blog it was under the condition that no one will know it’s from me. As I try every day to cover up my disability as not everyone will see it as a superpower and see it as a weakness. I will keep pushing for change and please may everyone push with me. Let make this world better for everyone.